May 2010
8 posts
Hell Yes, I Fired Megan Fox
So we’re going back to the well today. I had another short story nearly done called “Alien vs. Predator vs. Matt” but that was less humorous and more me actually trying to write a compelling story involving Aliens, Predators, and Space Marines. It’s not compelling and it’s not funny, so I bailed. Maybe I’ll try to write again later today. But anyway,...
May 27th
Arnold Brought Sci-Fi to the Masses
Friend in real life and frequent blog commenter, Neil, posed a theory to me, one that can only be explored, here and now, in Action Movie May. Did Arnold Schwarzenegger Bring Science Fiction to the Masses? Of course he did. Outstanding. Neil also jokingly added, “and we’ll just pretend Star Wars never happened.” Nerd in-jokes aside, in any discussion of science-fiction Star...
May 26th
Lock Down at Black Site
“I’m not about to have some bullshit field agent who thinks he’s some kind of fucking supercop cock up this investigation!” Secretly, I’m upset all bosses don’t look and act like JJJ. The Captain’s voice echoed throughout the NSA field outpost. The last thing the office needed was more tension, and here was this asshole, yelling like some kind of asshole....
May 19th
Modern Action Classics: The Rundown
You ever notice how some people out there have favorite things?  You yourself may be one of them. Now, 98% of all people’s favorite things are stupid. They like stupid things. Stupid music. Stupid movies. Stupid TV. Stupid bars and restaurants. The other 2% of the population are your friends. Now, you’ll notice a lot of these people have favorite things that are old. Like, older than...
May 18th
The Misunderstood Genius of Nicolas Cage
Nic Cage is one of my favorite action movie actors. However, Nic Cage is also one of my favorite actors in not action movies. Whaddaya call them? Boring movies? Is that right? It sounds right. Swagger. Now, that doesn’t mean best. It just means that, for better or worse, putting Nic Cage in your movie will improve my chances of seeing it roughly 800%. I love the character work he’s...
May 13th
'Sup, Sluts?
Hey, my favorite guest columnist is back. Huzzah! *-*-* by Michael Bay Hey, fuckers. Miss me? Whooo, it feels like a long time since we last spoke. Has it been a long time? It feels like a long time. Fuck it, we’ll say it’s been like ten thousand years. Grimlock is the best Math Doctor the Autobots have. Or one year using the Autobot system of measurement. Yeah, in the next one...
May 12th
Punisher War Zone: How I Learned to Stop Worrying...
One among you responded to my call for Action. Frequent commenter and good friend, Doug Shank, decided to weigh in on the greatest of the three Punisher movies. *-*-* Punisher War Zone: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love This Movie By Doug Shank This movie is awesome. Why?  Because, “somebody has to punish the corrupt.” The opening action sequence is one of my all time...
May 11th
ACTION MOVIE MAY RETURNS
Okay, so I’m back, and here’s a few announcements:   The daily blog wasn’t working for me, as it was preventing me from doing the writing that the blog was supposed to help keep sharp, which is, you know, not a good thing.   So I’m going to scale it back to maybe 3 days a week of blogging, which gives me three days to work on my portfolio, and a day off.   In the next...
May 5th